Make Love Work

Intimacy is one of the small number of things of which we all want more. Everybody is in favor of intimacy. So why does intimacy slip from our grip so easily, with the result that may couples find themselves friends rather than lovers?

Intimacy has been made to equal sex – and nothing else

Sex might be reducible to the statistics of ‘how often’ and ‘how long’, but intimacy is not so obliging. In all the sweaty passion of lovemaking, it is easy to imagine that we are genuinely close to our partner. And then men, are particularly guilty of confusing sex and intimacy and will consider their relationship to be good… even if the lovemaking is routine and unfulfilled.

Intimacy means more than that just good sex.

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Have you felt that you do not REALLy love your partner? Have you ever confessed to your partner,

“I love you but I’m not in love with you.”

The phrase may seemed to belong to some latest TV sitcom, but yet REAL people are using it to describe something profound that was happening to their relationship. How could someone love but not be in love?

Couples would describe each other as best friends, or say their relationship was more like that of a brother and sister, except most were still having sex. The partnership had become defined by companionship rather than passion, and that was no longer enough. Over time more and more couples complained of the same problem. Not everyone spontaneously used the phrase, “I love you but I’m not in love with you”, but all recognised the sentiments.

For these couples, the dilemma was especially painful: the person who had fallen out of love still cared deeply about his or her partner, and certainly did not wish to hurt them, but they wanted to end the relationship.

People in crisis need information that  significantly improve a relationship. It is difficult to pass on in only one or two sessions of relationship counselling. I hope that with my information, couples and individuals can digest how they can improve their relationships with the ideas at their own rate.

Falling Out Of Love Does Not Mean The End Of A Relationship

Couples need to understand love and to point out the everyday habits that we think protect relationships but which in fact undermine them.

Question: Is it really possible to fall back in love?
The answer is always the same: an emphatic: Yes

What’s more, couples can emerge with a better understanding of themselves and each other and a stronger bond. There is still much great hope in your relationship to work at it:

1. Learn how to communicate better
2. Learn to have productive arguments
3. Learn to take your sex life to a deeper level of intimacy
4. Learn to find a balance between being fulfilled as an individual and being one half of a couple.

If your love relationship has reached crisis point, find a strategy for talking through the issues and dealing with the immediate fallout. If you have already separated, understand what happened, outline your options and get help to move on to a more rewarding future. God bless and take care!