Make Love Work

When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” When I lost love, I felt the whole world had collapsed around me. I am  sharing my story to help you if you too have lost the love of your life.

I think it’s important to recollect that each relationship has a natural lifespan. In Junior High, that is about a few days. As we get older, the lifespan increases. But, there are certain relations that are right for a period and then go awry. Many of us will only have one great love in our lives. The other relations will end. That is why when I assert I lost love, I understand that this could be a natural process.

In my case, my husband and I were brooding about ratcheting up our relationship. His lease was going to end, and he needed to move into my residence. As we were spending almost all of our time there any way, it made sense from a monetary perspective.

But there’s something important about having separate places. I know that I lost love because I could not handle him taking our relationship to this level. I believe the time span of our relationship was up because I was not prepared to become more committed.

Now, I know that I handled the situation badly. I went to a chum’s bachelor party and let’s just say things got out of hand. Word about the wild escapades at the party got back to my husband, naturally, and he dumped me. I lost love over the occurrences of one night.

But, when I believe back on what actually occurred, the occurrences of the bachelor party were actually a reaction to our debate of more commitment. I don’t think I’d have behaved the way I did if I actually wanted him to move in. I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was taking.

I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex. But I don’t believe he was the love of my life, my life partner. Instead, he was somebody with whom I genuinely enjoyed passing time. I loved him. I continue to love him. But, he isn’t the person with whom I see spending the remainder of my life.

I went thru a period of mourning the relationship and investigating what went incorrect. I was hurt when he claimed he needed to end things. Sure, I accepted I had hurt him. But, I had no desire him to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to resume on the way they were. But, every relationship has to grow or die. Because I was not ready to let it grow, it had to die. In each relationship, there’s a time to die. And, for me, this was it. That is how I lost love.

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