Ways to survive a breakup
There are relationship which ends suddenly and there are some which almost made it to last. Whatever the reason for the separation, it will always involve pain and grief. But there are ways to deal with a breakup. Here are some tips to survive the fall-out.
Accept it’s over
The initial reaction after a breakup is shock. Some people still awaits for a formal declaration that the relationship is over even if they knew that it isn’t working out.
However, to some people, the reality of a breakup is hard to sink in and takes months to finally accept it. These people usually daydream of reconciling with their ex and a reunion.
Understanding what went wrong
Dealing with a breakup mean accepting what went wrong with the relationship so you can take the first step to your early recovery. Finger pointing and dwelling on the blaming game will not help your problem. Do not ask yourself for any faults or the things you may have done to deserve such fate. Focus on the nice experience and memories you shared and not put too much emphasis on who was at fault.
It is more positive to ask questions such as “How was things when you first stated dating?,” “What attracted you to each other,?What was special with the relationship?”How did you and your partner changed?” “What influenced your relationship,?” Where did you fail to make the necessary adjustments?”
The answers to your questions may be hard to swallow, but understanding the reasons will make it easier for you to let go and move forward. You may feel a variety of emotions, including anger, fear, sadness, guilt and confusion.
Keeping it together
Aside from these many emotions you are undergoing, there are many issues that you have to address immediately when dealing with a breakup. These includes:
The children – This is the most important and the most difficult task to address. You have to face the reality of children support, arrangements for time, visition by the other party/in-laws, birthdays and special occassions.
Money and property – You also have to face the decision on who take possession of which property. Will the house belong to you or to the other party? And who gets to keep the dog? You have to manage the finances now that you have lesser income.
Friends and family – What will you tell your parents/siblings/extended family members/friends? How much should you tell them. And you should also maintain relationships with your in-laws.
Tags: dealing with breakup
This entry was posted on Monday, December 21st, 2009 at 6:08 pm and is filed under make love work. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.